What I've learnt being a 'Loner' (lol)

The term 'loner' honestly sounds a bit sad and the truth is it can feel sad too. I know I'm not the only one who feels a type of way about this, hence I want to shed light on this topic for anyone who can relate. Is being a 'loner' such a bad thing...?

Why am I a loner?

To keep it brief, I am introverted, I overthink and I am reserved which is a combination that often means 80% of the time I am by myself. I have a lot of acquaintances but not any close friends if I'm honest. For that reason, it is realistic to perceive me as a 'loner'. Even in a room full of people and talking to them, I can sometimes feel all on my own.

How do I feel about being a loner?

I would love to say that I am always ok with being on my own or by myself but I wouldn't be telling the truth. It weighs on my mind and makes me question my personality, my attitude to social situations... my character which is draining. Then I realise that I am the way that I am for a reason, and in those special moments, I can accept that I am different.

The biggest struggle comes from the desire to belong or fit in which is valid. However, fitting in doesn't mean that one will be happier or free to be who they are meant to be. There are unwritten expectations we put on ourselves to find 'our people' or have close friendships similar to what we see in media.

This has often left me torn between embracing my authentic self or crucifying my lack of position in the social context.

What are the positives to being a loner?

Believe it or not, there are upsides to being on your own that go unrecognised... especially when we see other people being social. Independence is a valuable trait to embody and something that no one can take away from you. Being on your own also means that you are able to learn about yourself and do what makes you happy. After all, it is your life so why not enjoy it even when you are on your own.

There was a recent youtube video that I watched that made me smile. Essentially what I loved about watching it was how relatable it was so I encourage you to watch it. The funny thing is, you aren't alone even if you think you are. There is someone out there that feels the same as you (including me hehe) so smile. Take this as an opportunity to create your own community to bring like-minded people together.

What are the stigmas about being a loner?

The stigmas about being a loner can feel very depressing, particularly when other people's social status is so easy to see. What needs normalising is being content with yourself and doing things on your own if that's what you want or experience. What stigmas do you think there are... how might that affect you?

What I want you to take away from this blog is that even if you are the person that seems to be on your own 80% of the time it isn't so bad. I won't deny the power and pleasurable feeling of being around people and socialising (the pandemic helped us all realise this) however you have to embrace your own company.

Thank you for reading. Until Next Time...Ludel.