Past, Present, Future.

We are now in July- the second half of the year- and what better time to reflect. With the unprecedented Covid-19 and its turn of events in 2020, maybe it's difficult to see what you have achieved or acknowledge how far you have come. Don't give up on your goals for this year, after all, there is still the rest of 2020 ahead of us (have a little hope).

Earlier this week I looked at my the goals which I wrote as far back as January. My reaction was mixed, to say the least, I stared at my piece of writing asking myself how has so much time gone by and very few things been achieved? I was disappointed in myself and couldn't help feel as if I was being over-ambitious in my writing. The other side of me realised that I had no reason to be ungrateful or not to be proud of myself given the circumstances all of us are facing.

I like to plan ahead and keep very organised, in some ways it helps me feel in control but that has been thrown out the window this year. As a result, I have found it hard to cope with the changes (good and bad) I have experienced. As I mentioned, over the past few days I have been reflecting on my personal growth and actually defining what matters to me. I believe this lockdown period has forced us to have conversations with ourselves- which sounds strange but is true- to help us realise the things we never noticed before. The lockdown has really resonated with me and taught me to appreciate time and life in general.

Here are the lessons I've learned during my reflection:

1. Don't dwell in the past.

I don't like the process of change so I try to comfort myself with thoughts on past events. While reminiscing on memories gives me motivation and perspective to do and be a better person, it can also bring me down emotionally. Have you ever compared yourself to who you were and question why you aren't like that now? I have. My mind likes to stay stuck on the negative and sad events therefore it stimulates thoughts which dampen my spirit. It sounds deep I know but it's only now that I realise that dwelling in the past for too long is unhealthy for me. For some people, there are triggers that remind them of those dark moments, it's because their mind wonders. Whatever it is, there should be no reason that our past ruins our present and our future. I'm getting better at moving on by telling myself 'yesterday is history'. When I say this I acknowledge what's happened has happened and it's up to me to learn from it.

2. Learn to wait for the future.

Can you see how I skipped the present to talk about the future? Well, that's what I find myself doing regularly. I am a creative and ambitious person which means I think BIG. Not that I dislike being a visionary but I often think of something and instantly want to start working on it or to release it really quickly/ while I am young. This has meant I rush the necessary processes to execute my ideas to their potentials. So I am practising patience and cultivating the mindset that it will be done with time. Being Christian I have also learned to trust God's plan and perfect timing... which believe me isn't easy. If you have put yourself under pressure to achieve things before the age x or within a short time frame don't- things change. What I am trying to say is look at the future with an open mind and try not to strictly plan it.

3. Be mindful of now.

Time is out of our hands however we are in control of how we spend our time. What are you doing right now? How are you feeling? Would you regret anything looking back at this moment now? These are all questions that will help you become more present, intentional and purposeful. I am young but my level of maturity makes me bypass my time now. I don't want to live my life not enjoying myself in this day and age -life is too short. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed and time ticks away, so I tell myself to make the most of today. If you're struggling to live in the moment, I would encourage that you take time for yourself with no distractions and do something you would want to remember doing that day. Mindfulness requires practise so don't beat yourself up for being preoccupied with other things rather forgive yourself and learn.

So that's my little rant... soon we will all find a balance with our time and resources to help us live our lives to the fullest.

Thank you for reading, let me know in the comments how you plan on using the time left in 2020.