A few days in my life.

Last week I didn't upload a blog because I wasn't in the headspace to write and I didn't want to force it. That being said it's almost triggered this odd feeling in me to blog again- nevertheless, I have missed it. I must admit life in lockdown has been strange but in some ways a great challenge to make the most of every day...

The past few days (a week or so) have definitely been a rollercoaster of emotions. I felt frustrated, annoyed, sad, overwhelmed but also felt loved, creative and most of all grateful. In a nutshell, I was torn between doing academic tasks, doing work and trying to enjoy time off which left me feeling conflicted. I'm still working on creating a balance in my life, to feel better about where my energy and efforts are being put.

Every day I'm reminded that life is precious and special. No two days are ever the same, how we feel will always change but that's part of the beautiful thing called life.

What have I been up to?

It's easy for me to say that I haven't been up to much but when I think deeper I realise that I have done quite a bit.

I've spent a lot of my time outdoors. I particularly loved visiting a lavender garden with my family - a first. Oh, it was lovely, the suns beam, the fresh scent and beautiful sights were amazing. The car ride was lively, with blaring music and the voice of the satnav directing my mum with uncertainty- lol. That day just made my heart burst with happiness, it made me feel so good. So if you're looking to feel good I recommend trying something new. The best part of doing something different for a change is the memories you get to create.

Another highlight of these past few days is spending time with loved ones. I have missed endlessly chatting with siblings and getting up to whatever we can together. While our bond was never weakened it certainly felt hidden when I had to commute every day. I'm an introvert but I have made attempts to staying in touch with friends and catching up with them. It has been a challenge -shall I say- because it has really pushed me out of my comfort zone - calling, texting, FaceTiming. I get nervous, overthink everything and doubt myself a lot but I will admit I have felt more confident given the circumstances of lockdown and social distance practice.

I've felt really down at times too. I won't burden you with why I have been negative (don't worry) but I will say that it is ok and normal to have those days. Everyone has those days whether they could anticipate it or not.

So when I have struggled, I sought creative projects to work on to act as my outlet. We have the power to change our moods from good to better.

Lessons I have learned:

1. Try something new.

What you do doesn't have to be extravagant, expensive or even be made public. It should be something you look forward to or even challenges you. It helps to also give yourself a break from work mode too which will help you be more open to doing something different.

2. Converse.

If we are having a bad day or our not in the mood, we need to practice communicating this with others. When we do this, it helps us to consciously take control of how we act towards and treat others. You'd be surprised that people will empathise with you because they can relate to that feeling. For me, I needed to convince myself to ask for help and express my struggles.

3. Let go.

Somethings were simply out of my control. The thought of that made me feel anxious therefore I found it hard to let go. For many reasons, we need to loosen our grip on things we can't fully grasp. I had to make a conscious effort to stress less and forgive more which led to me feeling much better. What do you have to let go of to be happier?

4. Accept change

Every day is different...it's a subtle form of change. Part of the reason I felt stressed was that 'things weren't as they use to' and I found it difficult to adapt. The first step is to accept that no day will ever be the same (even if they have similar conditions). Then you can acknowledge that every day is a blank canvas waiting to be illustrated. Another difficulty was my perfectionism. I found myself comparing everything to its previous successes or that I just wasn't content.

Those were a few glimpses in my life. I want you to remember that life is short and is worth living to the fullest. Accept your bad times, ugly times and good times so that you can enjoy every moment.

Thank you for reading this week's blog, let me know what lockdown has taught you in the comments below.